I meant to write my blog on Friday. I really did. I sat in front of the computer and typed nothing worthy of writing. It was not happening. That night, I fell asleep at 6:30. SIX THIRTY!!!! I slept the whole night with one snack awakening at 11pm, until 8:30 Saturday morning. No wonder I could not write!

In the last 15 months, I forgot how to breathe. We have been down half our income. I faced the reality that I am not going back to work, CANNOT go back to work. Doctors poked and prodded me from every direction to make sure I am ok. My life has been an adrenaline filled roller coaster ride while I am waiting for the next crisis. It’s hard to breathe in this mode.

This week, the ride stopped. Not only did social security disability approve my claim, I won my appeal with long term disability. Income is coming back in. Back pay is coming in. We made it through with our house, our dogs, stayed on track with bills, and kept our sanity. We are ok.

I have, also, been prepping for surgery. In a few weeks, I will be having a hysterectomy. Even though my body gets tired, my muscles hurt, my dexterity sucks, overall, I am doing well. My lungs are stable. My heart is looking good. My blood sugars are rock star. I am ok.

In the midst of this, I am practicing for my first performance in 25 years. I forgot how physical and emotional it is to sing. When done right, you are using your whole body and soul. We had a few bobbles in rehearsal Wednesday. Who doesn’t. That is what rehearsal is for. But overall, the sound of 50 women harmonizing soothes my soul in a way that nothing else can. I am sure I will cry on Saturday. My soul is ok.

So, no the blog did not get written on Friday. I released months of stress instead. I slept. I breathed.